Reporter: “Where’s Earl Milford?”

GOB: “I-I don’t know. I put him in a box. I didn’t kill him, all right? And don’t edit this for your broadcast so it looks like I’m screaming, <cut to television> ‘I killed Earl Milford!’”

John Beard: “Startling confession: tonight at 11:00.”

Michael: “A date? This is a date now? I thought this was just business.”

Jessie: “Can’t it be a little bit of both?”

Michael: “How will I know which part of it is business?”

[Jessie kisses Michael]

Michael: “Uh-oh. Can’t wait to see which part of it is a date.”

[Jessie kisses Michael again]

Michael: “Show me business again.”

Michael: “He says he doesn’t want to do it. I’m actually going to respect his choices—”

George Michael: “Good. I… great. I was just… Well, don’t answer for… I, um, yeah. ‘Cause I know exactly the cousin, I mean, the.. the girl I would want to give and she’ll want give too. We’ll… and we’ll do that together. For them, for the sake of… I ju… it’s a great day. For being sad.”

Lindsay: “S’Tobias back yet?”

George Michael: “No.”

Lindsay: “Oh, my God, he’s really out with her.”

George Michael: “Are you drunk?”

Lindsay: “Not enough.”

Basically anyone on AD: “Well, that was a freebie.”

Michael: “But are you upset about something, GOB?”

GOB: “How about the fact that I made you a thank-you gift last week, about which you haven’t said word one?”

Michael: “Come on, you asked me for $5,000 so that you could invest in a Franklin CD. Now, I assumed that you were talking about the mutual fund and not a compact disc of you singing to your hand.”

Tobias: “Welcome.”

George Sr: “You’re Dorothy?”

Tobias: “I thought the two of us could talk, man-on-man.”

Barry: “Can I ask you a question?”

George Sr: “Sure. What?”

Barry: “Are all the guys in here, you know…?”

George Sr: “Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them.”

Barry: “Yeah, it’s never the ones you hope.”

George Sr: “Hope?”

Barry: “Think.”

George Sr, on Buster: “I don’t know, maybe it was my fault. Maybe, uh, maybe I just ignored the guy.”

(Buster yawning loudly)

Buster: “Wow… we’re just blowing through nap time, aren’t we?”

GOB: “Looks like life is going pretty well for both of us. Except that I’m broke.”

Tobias: “And I’m a sex offender!”